


You're Not Leia

by isnt_that_wizard



Series: Poe and Finn Have Conversations [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Communication, During Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Open ended relationship, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Leia Death, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Talks of Fighting, You Decide, part of my new series called poe and finn need better communication, takes place before they go to exogol, they could be together could also not be, they talk about the fight at the death star remains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-19 21:40:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isnt_that_wizard/pseuds/isnt_that_wizard
Summary: Poe Dameron is struggling. His mentor and friend has just passed away, he has just been named General, the Resistance is preparing for battle on the Sith planet Exogol, and he can feel the tension between him and Finn from miles away. He's never before fought with Finn. They have bickered and jokingly argued, but never fought. Poe can't seem to get Finn's words out of his head."Well, I'm not Leia.""That's for damn sure."Before the Resistance leaves for the biggest fight of their lives, Poe visits Leia's body, allows himself to grieve, and deals with this newfound tension between him and the person he trusts the most.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Poe and Finn Have Conversations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588669
Comments: 7
Kudos: 184





	You're Not Leia

In all the time Poe and Finn had known each other, there hadn't been so much tension running between them as their was now. They had just been named co-Generals of the Resistance, were prepping for the biggest fight they'd ever go through, were meant to be united, and the tensions between them was strong enough someone could probably cut through it. Poe had been not exactly avoiding Finn, but he certainly hadn't been seeking him out either. He didn't know how to look him in the eyes right now, not after the argument and silent cockpit on the flight back from the Death Star remains.

The two of them bickered, got annoyed, rolled and eyes and spit frustrated words, but they didn't fight. They didn't insult, stare each other down, walk away from each other. They fought in sync, practically read each other's minds, and always knew how to solve any problems they faced as long as they did it together. What happened on Kef Bir was a new experience for their friendship. Poe had quickly decided he hated it. He could still feel the sting of Finn's words, felt the rising jealousy in his throat that Rey would always be more important to Finn than he was.

Poe knew, logically, that neither of them deserved the words and looks they'd given the other, that it was a build up of all the tensions and grief of the war. That didn't stop him, however, from silently fuming as he and Chewie had finished Falcon repairs and flown out to pick up Finn and Jannah. It didn't stop the awkward silences of the cockpit and the short, abrupt conversation of what to do next until Poe couldn't handle it and went to go sit in the cargo bay for a while. It made the grief of finding Leia had passed so much worse.

Princess and General Leia Organa had been someone Poe had looked up to his entire life. She had been a good friend of his parents and he'd known her well. Though neither of them had ever told him, Poe knew that she had made a promise to his father when he joined the Resistance to always look after Poe. Leia was who Poe could only ever aspire to be. To hear from Finn of all people a type of confirmation that he never would was heart-wrenching in a way Poe couldn't even describe.

The base around Poe was preparing for their travel to Exogol, saying goodbyes and good lucks to loved ones, comparing and hashing out strategies, excitement and nerves overtaking the entire group. Poe stood silently in the middle of it, BB-8 patiently and curiously whirling around him in circles as if checking him over to see if he was okay. Poe barely spared a smile to his beloved droid, who sensing Poe was not himself in the moment let out a sad hum. BB-8 knew he would need to be without Poe for this battle, but for now he stayed by his side, bumping Poe's leg gently.

Across the base, in conversation with Jannah and Rose, Poe could see Finn. The look on his face was hard, determined, though Poe knew if he could see Finn's eyes properly, they'd be filled with hope. Poe had always loved Finn's eyes. Finn had never been able to disguise them, they were like a window into his soul. When Finn had rescued Poe, he saw the fear and defiance in them. When they met again on D'Qar, Poe saw relief and something akin to what looked like the first hope Finn had ever known. After Crait, the dark brown eyes were heavy and grief filled. On Kef Bir, Finn's eyes had held a fire Poe had seen before, but it hadn't ever been directed at him. Poe had seen so much to through Finn's eyes over the time they'd known each other and he fell a little bit in love with them every day. They were the same eyes Poe was met with now, as Finn looked across the base and landed directly on Poe.

Poe pointedly ignored the sudden increase of his heart beat, only able to hold Finn's gaze for a few moments before casting his eyes downward. BB-8 looked up quizzically, but Poe just gave him a slight shake of his head and began walking without any real destination. The droid followed after him, too smart for his own good and not wanting to leave his friend and master alone. When Poe stopped walking, he let out a deep breath and thought to himself that she should've known he'd end up here again. Maz gave him a sad smile, nodded once, and walked away, letting Poe and BB-8 be alone with their beloved General.

Poe stared at the sheet covering Leia's body, hating the stillness of it. He so desperately wished she would reach out to him, hold him in a tight, comforting hug like she had his whole life. He wished she would wake up and yell at him for recklessness or scold him for immaturity with that half smile on her face she just couldn't hide, if only to hear her voice. Poe took a step closer to where she lay, but felt his resolve slip away as he did. With a sob, Poe's facade shattered and he crumbled to the ground. Tears fell freely from his eyes as he knelt on the concrete next to her, lacking the strength to do much else. Poe hadn't let himself cry yet. He had made General, he had to be strong for everyone else, paint himself a leader that they could trust and rely on.

Here, however, where it was just him and BB-8, Poe couldn't control the gut-wrenching sobs that came from inside him. Her lay a women who had cared for him, loved him, saved him in more ways than he could count, and just like his mother, he had lost her. He'd lost her. Leia had died and he hadn't been here. For that, Poe wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself.

"Leia-" Poe croaked out between his sobs. "Leia, I'm- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I can't-"

Poe cut himself off as more tears came out. BB-8 sat as close to Poe as he could, beeping and whining that sounded like tears of his own.

"I don't know if I can do this without you," Poe whispered so quiet he himself could barely hear it when his tears finally began subsiding. His body ached with exhaustion and he felt a weight on his shoulders he wasn't sure he could carry.

"Poe?" came a quiet voice from behind him. At the sound, Poe shot up, hastily wiping the remainder of his tears away as he turned towards the entrance.

"Finn!" Poe said, trying to throw his facade back up and knowing he was failing. "Buddy. What are you, uh, what're you doing here?"

Finn was frowning, looking not quite sure what to do with himself. There was so much space between them, way more than either of them was used to. Poe was still swiping at his face, trying to look as normal as possible.

"On the platform-" Finn started. He paused for a minute before quietly saying, "I followed you."

Poe gave a curt nod, not meeting Finn's eyes. "Well, you found me. Was there something you needed? Wanna run over the plans again?"

Poe was playing okay, brushing it all off best he could, trying to throw his usual energy in his words and- if the whirl of indignation and bump against his leg from BB-8 was any indication- failing. His tone and faked stability made Finn frown harder.

"Poe-"

"What?" Poe challenged, really not wanting to do this right now. Not here. Finn, however, just took a few steps closer to Poe, his frown turning slightly sad.

"Poe, I really don't want to go into a battle we might not come out from like this."

"Like what," Poe responded, earning a look from Finn that said "don't play stupid".

"If one of dies-" Poe couldn't help but flinch at Finn's words, "-I'm not gonna let it happen with us both remembering a fight as one of the last things we did. I don't want that, do you?"

Poe let out a sigh, letting his stiff posture slump and relax. He looked at the ground as he let out a quiet, "No."

Finn took another step, close enough that they could easily touch each other. "Poe, I'm sorry. For what I said. I was scared and upset and you didn't deserve it. You-"

"Please, don't."

"What?"

"Don't apologize by trying to take your words back or something. Don't tell me that other than a few obvious difference I actually am like Leia. You were _right_ , Finn. That's what made it hurt so much. You were right, I'm never going to be Leia."

Finn was quiet for a minute, choosing his next words with care. "No, you won't. No one will ever be Leia. No one _could._. . but no one is ever going to be Poe Dameron, either."

Poe looked up at Finn properly for the first time, a frown of confusion written on his face.

"Poe, you have so much that you don't even realize. These people on this base, they trust you. They are willing and _eager_ to follow you. You're dedicated, loyal, a damn good pilot and strategist, and worthy of being this rebellion's general. Leia trusted you with that. She knew that you could lead these people into victory. Leia was _proud_ of you, Poe. She loved you and she was so proud."

Silently, more tears had begun falling down Poe's cheeks at Finn's words. Finn was right. Leia had always believed in him in a way no one else had. She had been leading and organizing rebellions for longer than he'd been alive and when it came to the end, Leia passed her legacy to him. Poe didn't need to _be_ Leia to carry that on. He needed to learn from her, remember her, and know in his heart that he could do this.

At the sight of Poe's tears, Finn reached out to him hesitantly. Not quite sure where they stood right now, Finn was careful and light as he wrapped his arms around Poe. When the pilot immediately feel into and relaxed in the embrace, Finn's arms tightened, holding him close and comforting. Poe's hands came up to grip Finn's shirt as he cried into Finn's neck silently. After a few minutes of simply holding onto each other, Finn broke the silence with a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Poe. I really hate fighting with you."

Poe nodded against Finn's shoulder. "Me, too," he mumbled.

Pulling back from Finn, Poe put one hand on his shoulder, looking into Finn's eyes. This time, they held relief and love, both of which were directed at Poe.

"Neither of us," Poe said, determination filling his voice, "are dying in this fight, you got it? We're coming back to each other."

Finn let a smile play on his lips, asking, "Is that an order, General?"

"Damn right it is, General."

Finn smiled wider before nodding and pulling Poe back into a hug. BB-8 rolled around them, chirping happily before announcing that they should probably start to get going. Poe reluctantly pulled away from Finn, knowing his droid was right. Rey had given them a window and they didn't want to miss it. Finn and BB-8 began heading out, but Finn paused at the door to look back where Poe hadn't moved yet. Poe had turned to face Leia.

With a sad smile on his face, he gazed where his hero and friend laid, and whispered, "Thank you, Leia. I won't let you down."

When he turned back, Finn was waiting for him, hand stretched out and a gentle smile on his face.

"Hands?"

"Hands." 

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing the movie twice, I realized that while the Stormpilot may be strong with this one, there were many moments throughout the film when I wished the two of them would just talk some more and sort their crap out. So I decided to right a few one-shots dedicated to that exactly! This is the first one I'm posting, but if you enjoyed this then keep a lookout for more!


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